…there was a girl who would. not. sleep. Not as a newborn, not as a toddler, not as a little girl. She hated her dreaded crib so much that she launched herself over the side and careened to the floor by 14 months. Night after night, and nap after nap. Pitiful cries floated out from under her door. “Mom! Dad! Is anybody out there? Somebody? Anybody!” The girls parents, concerned for her safety and hoping to get one night’s sleep, arranged a ’sleeping place’ on her floor with a mattress and some pillows. The girl, sensing her parent’s sleep induced weakness, figured out that if she would creep into bed with them and lay still, no one would put her back in bed.
For 5 long years the parents searched high and low for a wizards ointment, enchanted wand, or magic spell that would get their daughter to fall asleep early and stay that way through the night. Sadly, the ‘Night Terror’ monster visited often, causing the girl to cry and scream hysterically throughout most nights. No one in the land could help, and it caused much heartache in the home.
In due time, the girl could share a room with her younger brother, which pleased her. She also grew big enough to send the ‘Night Terror’ monster away and he was heard of no more. But the sleep STILL would. not. come.
10 long years the girl suffered with sleepless nights and early mornings. The mother had tried relaxation techniques, calming books, soft music, night lights, lavender scented sheets, biofeedback, positive self talk, and 587658764872364 other things to help her daughter, to no avail. Desperation set it. And then, like a light shining on the sword in the stone, an answer arrived from the most unthinkable place.
How could something so simple, so mundane…so tacky…be the miracle cure?
Behold, the power of the lava lamp.
The girl was amazed by its gooey, bubbly appearance. Waiting patiently for the light to warm up the gobs of green, she would peer over the side of her bed, mesmerized by its flowing, glowing powers. Soon, she was relaxed and drifting off to sleep…often before the bubbles had time to ooze up and down.
There was rest in all the land. And she slept happily ever after.
The End.
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