Pick Your Poison: passive, assertive, or aggressive?

Due to no Internet reception where I am (again!) (does that make you wonder where in the world we’re at NOW?!) (after all this roaming around, I wish the whole wide world was wired for wi-fi!) (too bad Tesla isn’t around, I think he could have figured it out already…)

Uh, where was I?

Internet. Yes. I have none. So it’s back to iPhone typing, which I’ve established is tedious, especially when I like to blah blah blah all over my blog and say in 46 words what it should only take 5 to say.

So, this will be short. I got a hold of a sheet divided into 3 catergories: passive, assertive, aggresive. It’s what so many of you commented about on my post ‘No more Ms. Nice Gal’. Passive isn’t balanced out with aggression, but rather with assertiveness.

Any doubt that I am as passive as a wet noodle are erased when I tell you that in no instance to I leave the passive column. I must admit, I cried. Hard. It brought home just how much passivity (passiveness?) affects my life and happiness. Oprah would have called it my ‘a ha!!’ moment, but it was more like “WTF!!!”.

I am now more determined to practice doing things that are more in the assertive column. Already I am saying, “that doesn’t work for me” and “but here’s what I need…”. For example, tonight i said, “i need to eat cake for dinner, kids'” and thats what we did at a nice bakery down the street! Small steps!

This picture is taken with my iPhone, I’m not sure about the quality or size, so let me know in the comments if you can read it! If not, I’ll find a link.

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8 Responses

  1. that cake looks amazing!

    I normally try to find a nice balance between passive and assertive.

    I hate when I’m being walked on.

    …. but after reading you photo a few times…. I think I need to work on some things…

  2. I love that you all had cake for dinner!

    I can’t read the pic because I’m reading this on my phone. I’m going to try to find a link. :)

  3. reading on my imac, can see the list loud and clear! would still love a link tho, i’d like to print this out…

    one thing that may help you to be assertive without feeling like you’re being bitchy – say it with a smile! i’m big on this – you can say the exact same thing, but if you manage to conjure a genuine smile with it rather than a grimace or a scowl, it comes across totally differently! the smile changes the whole face, which in turn changes even the body language. (think to self – my being assertive is great for everyone; it gives me permission to really be me and get what i need/what, and then i won’t have to wind up coming off as a bitch down the line…)

  4. Dude, that chart is your next tattoo! ;-)

  5. I’m good at being assertive until I have to deal with someone who’s being aggressive, and then my preferred response is to run. If I can’t do that, I get stomach-aches – I hate being passive, but I hate worse being yelled at.

  6. I am so passive. I am working on it…but yeah. I avoid conflict if I can. But as you know…it is running rampant around here…

    As soon as I get my ducks….I’ll be assertive. No really…I will.

  7. [...] (or, BAM as I like to call them!) I’ve been doing so much reading on boundaries, being more assertive, staying mindful, and generally speaking, just being more gentle with myself as a [...]

  8. [...] ever since he’s turned 11, I’ve felt more snappish around him. This may have to do with introducing the idea of being assertive, and really welcoming the kids to be proactive in asserting themselves both in the world and here at [...]

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