Momsanity #1

My ‘momsanities’ are the things I find myself doing during the day that prove how insane I really am. But not a permanent crazy…more like a temporary insanity brought on by children. Specifically, brought on by my children.

This condition has grown more serious in direct proportion to how many kids I’ve had. When it was just The Naturalist and me, my momsanity wasn’t so severe. But now that there are three of them and only one of me….well, I’ll just say it’s not pretty.

So, I come here to purge. Maybe get some validation, like…”Oh, yeah, I do that too!” or, “Oh, that’s not so bad…listen to what I did…”. But I fear that my shameful craziness is so out there, and you will use me as a justification to your significant other of how bad things could REALLY be if you were like the crazy homeschooling mom with a few too many kids.

But maybe that’s the fear of every mom–a deep seeded inferiority complex about everyone else being obviously so much better at this mommy thing, and Oh! The Shame! if they all found out. So, at the very least, this is my contribution to the uplifting and empowerment of my fellow mommy’s out there. As crazy as you may feel, chances are there is someone else (me) that is a little bit more off kilter. Then you can feel good about keeping things together a little bit better than you thought!

And now, without further adieu, I present my Momsanity #1.

Exhibit A:

Crazy-haired brother with The Golfer. We’re eating at the restaurant where my brother works. Such good food!

Nothing really crazy about this, so far. The crazy thing is where The Toddler is. She is sitting under the table, cradling my sparkly shoe.

And the even crazier thing is, unlike when The Naturalist was little and the thought of her getting near the floor of a public restaurant sent me into fits, with The Toddler I let her stay down on the nasty floor because 1) it keeps her happy, and 2) it keeps her quiet. I’d like to say this is a one time deal, but it’s not. She usually takes a few bites of her meal and then dives down below the table like a whiney submarine.

So, to recap, I am subjecting my child to nasty floor germs from a public restaurant so I can enjoy my meal in relative peace. I don’t even carry around antibacterial lotion or wipes! I don’t even care about the nasty side glances from other moms eating around me. I don’t even give her a lecture about proper eating etiquette when at a restaurant. I don’t make her sit in her seat so she learns the correct way to behave in a public place. I have visions of her, on her first date, ordering the food and then slinking down under the table to sit with the dust bunnies and chewed up gum…all because her mom was too busy enjoying her own food to teach her proper manners.

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5 Responses

  1. Hey – cute shoes! =)

    Um… I let Jayne hang on the front of the shopping cart going “WOO WOO WOO” like a fire-engine siren as I grocery shop. It keeps her from getting lost or grabbing stuff off the shelves, but leaves room in the cart for actual groceries. Also, I get a little evil thrill when she goes “Woot Woot! Coming through! Move please!” to people clogging up the aisles. 😉

  2. We all have our moments, really. And who’s inadequate? you rock!

  3. Yo, whatever works!

    (I was just wondering yesterday how you do it — I mean, being with all of them all day every day without going a wee bit over the edge. You’re flippin’ amazing, and don’t you forget it.)

  4. Hi,what a damn good shirt,thanks for sharing.I will get one like that.bill

  5. I really enjoyed reading this post.Thank you.

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