Nothing Gold Can Stay.

5 years ago, today, hubby and I welcomed a third child into our family. However, there was no celebration, no happy smiles, no joy in the room. She was stillborn, passing away before taking a breath.

I had developed HELLP Syndrome, a variation of preeclampsia that very quickly threatens the life of the mother and the baby if not treated aggresively. Aggresive meaning induction. I survived; my little girl did not.

It’s a sad story, but would be even more sad if that were the extent of it. Death, loss, grief, sadness. A broken, incomplete family.

But no, here we are 5 years later–celebrating what we could not all those years ago. I didn’t know then, that a mom’s love can extend to all her babies–even the ones she’s never met. I didn’t realize that hope and faith are strong enough to go up against despair and loss. I didn’t know that it was possible to let someone go and still keep them close in my heart.

We spend time together and make this a family day. We sign balloons with special messages and release them…usually with something special like a flower or toy tied onto the bottom. We eat angel food cake and play in the sprinklers.

I look at my family today; hubby, naturalist, golfer, toddler, and me. Each of us has added something special to make our family what we are together. And so has Baby Rose. Because of her we are a little bit more than what we were before her. I see compassion, determination, hope & faith, tenderness, understanding of grief and loss that teaches us to live in the present, empathy. If this is her legacy, then that’s something to celebrate.