Random Searches

I love looking at what searches people use to get to my blog. I can only imagine what the thought process is when someone is very seriously looking for “math worksheets” and ends up on my rant against them. And then they maybe read a bit further to find out what kind of freak doesn’t support the use of worksheets only to discover the deep, dark world of unschooling. It must be quite shocking!

In any case…I aim to please, and because I maybe didn’t answer their search properly the first time, and now that I know what questions people out there really want to know the answers to, I will attempt to give better explanations for future googlers. Here are my favorite random searches that lead people to my blog, in no particular order:

MY CHILD KEEPS PLAYING WITH SMALL STUFF
poor person. The ALL CAPS really gives them away. Driven to the brink by a child that won’t stop playing with small stuff. I’ll give this one a shot, as I think I have a good answer.

TAKE THE SMALL STUFF AND PUT IT UP HIGHER.

eating pizza to give birth.
well, I wouldn’t recommend it. The most you’ll get is heartburn. My friend does have a recipe for ‘Labor Salad’ and swears it’s put all her friends into labor…some that weren’t even pregnant before eating it!

I also do not recommend eating fast food with the understanding that your child will be induced the next week. I started on that slippery slope with The Sassy Princess, and after delaying the induction by 3 weeks I was eating fast food 3 meals a day. For those 3 weeks. I just kept thinking…well, tomorrow they’ll induce…what’s one more day?

write 60 words in abc order
something to put words in abc order
can you help me put words in abc order

Wow, this is a big one. Sorry, folks. All you’ll get from me, here, are reasons why ABC order can be so difficult, and why we hate it here chez Child’s Play. Some people are really good at ABC order. If you know any, get them to help you. If you find it very hard to put the alphabet in order…well, you might be a redneck. I mean, dyslexic.

parachute science observation worksheets.
Let me take a moment to point out that if you are observing, you can’t be writing on a worksheet. If you’re writing on a worksheet, you can’t be observing. How about let them do the parachute observation and enjoy it. I bet they’ll remember more that way than if they’re stressing out about writing everything down.

how to explain how the titanic sank
“Big, unsinkable boat. Big, icy iceberg. The two met, iceburg prevailed, boat is two miles down in the Atlantic. Discuss amoungst yourselves.”

icing art
icing art
how to icing art

This is a big one for people googling in South Africa. I’m not sure if the kids icing art is the answer you’re looking for, but we LOVE seeing South African dots on our blog map. Did you know you are 9,500 miles away from us? The Golfer thinks that is SO COOL. So, thanks for stopping by–leave a comment next time and my kids will FREAK from the coolness of having someone so far away leave us a hello.

last but not least…

how did my husband get mono?
Uh, I’m a little uncomfortable with the accusitory nature of this question. I had mono, but I assure you I did NOT give it to your husband. I didn’t even give it to MY husband! So, you can keep on looking the other blogs. There’s nothing to see here. I’m not that kind of girl.

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10 Responses

  1. ROFL you kill me woman! 🙂

  2. ROFL

    But, um, does the fact that we use worksheets mean we can’t be friends? The kids BEG for them, I swear…. 😉

  3. Julie…I sound a bit harsher on worksheets than I really am IRL. True, they were the bane of The Naturalist’s existence in school, they are torture for her now, and I dislike how so much of public school has become ‘sit down and finish this sheet’ for 6 hours of their day….but the Golfer begs for them (especially math ones) so I have my own little stash.

    We can stay friends. 🙂

  4. Oh Mercy Day! This post made me laugh!!

    I love seeing the searches, too. Thanks for sharing with us!

    Evie

  5. Did you know that the Titanic actually sank because of a flaw in the design? I mean the iceberg helped but it should have stayed afloat for a lot longer – long enough for everyone to be saved. Saw it on the History channel. Very interesting; I recommend watching it if you can find it.

  6. I’d read somewhere that if they’d just hit the iceberg head on, it wouldn’t have sunk.

    There are so many ways the story could have been so different, it’s what makes studying it so interesting. Just a different decision here and there, and it’s a totally different outcome.

  7. I just want to take this opportunity to say something about ABC order. I am 24-going-on-25 and THE ONLY WAY I can alphabetize things is if I sing the alphabet song. It is somewhat embarrassing, but it works! I learned the alphabet song as “lyrics” so I have them memorized in “lyrics” order. I can’t start anywhere but the beginning. So, when I had a job filing things, well, I sang a lot.

  8. My son took ages to utter his first words, even now he has only a few words that he says like ,mum dad that wet he’s just turned two so we are trying not to worry too much

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