I was looking back through my recent posts, and reading through some other unschooling blogs when I realized that lately, none of my posts have been about unschooling. Used to be, it was all I could post about.
I’d sit and wonder (and blog)…was I doing it right? Was there even a right way to do it? If not, how would I know if I was? Was I dooming my kids to certain failure? Was it the right choice? Were they learning enough? Was I doing enough with them? Were they being exposed to enough? Were we going enough places? Did they learn today? I categorized our experiences to make sure we were at least “covering the bases”, if not overtly than at least covertly.
It was all I read about. The Unschooling Handbook. Sandra Dodd. Joyce Fetterol. John Holt. And a thousand other blogs & articles.
Interesting, that at a time I was trying to let go and trust the process and the child(ren), I was obsessing the most.
And here I am, an official year of unschooling under my belt (and 2 years trying to do it without knowing what ‘it’ was) and I’ve gotten so wrapped up in life that I’ve forgotten to obsess 24/7. I certainly have my moments of doubt and questions, and hubby and I talk late into the night about lots of things related to the kids. I still keep my eyes and ears open to learn about other people’s experiences, and I still take stock of where we are and how we are doing at any given time, but it’s filled with less doubt and more trust. Less fear and more enthusiasm. Less rigidity and more allowance.
Yesterday, while going to the community center, the Golfer grabbed my hand and said so earnestly (which rarely happens in an 8 year old!) “Thank you so much for letting us do this. This….kind of school. Well, not school, but…..our own thing. Our own awesome school!”
And it hit me just how much joy I find in this whole experience. There’s a part in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off where Ferris, Cam, and his girlfriend are sitting and watching a baseball game at Wrigley Field, and Ferris leans over to say to Cam: “Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we’d be in gym?”
That’s how I feel everytime we pass by the local school on our way to the zoo, or the pool, or the park, or the library, or the Science Museum, or a co-op with other families, or the other 3495830458 places we spend our time. We aren’t playing by the rules, and isn’t it grand?