Not Wordless Wednesday–Self.

Because really, who am I kidding? I couldn’t be wordless if someone gagged me. I love to talk. In very roundabout ways…eventually getting to a point, but taking my sweet time getting there. I could never write a comic strip…it would be all words with a tiny little picture down at the bottom.

Anyway, back to the topic. (see?)

Mama P put up another photo challenge, with the theme ‘Self’. I love her photo challenges, because it gives me a chance to look through my expansive iphoto archive and relive memories. For this one, I had to go waaaay back, simply because I am the official picture taker chez Child’s Play. I hope I show up through the pictures I take, but I rarely am actually IN the pictures.

So mostly, I view my ‘self’ in the first person, looking out. Rather than a whole, I see my ‘self’ in snippets…as a cheek to snuggle up to, a leg to climb on, a waist to wrap around, an ear to whisper into.

A hand to hold.

I see my ‘self’ as a part of the places I’ve gone. The best thing about traveling is that you’re never the same person coming back home that you were when you left.

I really tried to find one with me in it, but I’m the only one who ever would pick up a camera to catch a view with it!

I see my ‘self’ as what I create. Babies. Home. Friendships. Soap. I’ve found that the more things I build up around me, the happier I feel inside of me. Such a change from my earlier years, when I thought the exact opposite was true. The days of 45 minute makeup applications with an added 45 minute hair session getting ready in front of the mirror. The days of obsessing over my clothes, my body, my everything! Now, I’m lucky if i get a daily shower. My clothes are whatever is on sale. My makeup routine is pared down to whatever I can do in 5 minutes, and my hair is subject to the same 5 minute rule. I don’t have time to sit in front of a mirror and obsess. And now that my focus is on other things, I’m much more comfortable in my own skin, and much happier with my life.

Doing someone else’s nails for a change.

Occasionally, someone (usually The Golfer) will pick up the camera and snap a picture of me. I’m always surprised when I see myself from the outside looking in, as my kids see me. Here are three from the last couple years, each taken by the Golfer who likes to work the camera.

Me, on a mommy/son date at a miniature golf course in Virginia.

What Sassy sees when I ride on the Merry Go Round at the Zoo with her.

Our attempt at a self portrait on a Lake in North Carolina. As my hat says, “Life is Good!”

It’s funny. For so long I worried about “Who AM I?” and could never figure it out. Now, I worry less about who I am, and more about what I’m putting out in the world, and I know better who I am because of it. I am simply what I focus energy on. Joy or sadness. Anger or peace. Conflict or friendship. Criticism or understanding. Now I spend the most energy on being as good a mom as I can and having a family that we all want to be a part of. So for now I see my ‘self’ as a mom, woman, creator…and I am happy.


6 Responses

  1. I love this post, it emulates so much of what mom’s think, feel, and know but have a hard time expressing. It’s going on my favorites list for when I need a boost. It actually made me a little teary eyed. I am so profoundly greatful to know you. (((Hugs)))


  2. Yay!! I love this. Thanks for the reminder that we are what we focus on.

  3. What a beautiful outlook!

    We are the fruits of our labors?

  4. whenever I see a picture of you I can’t help but smile. Your such a nuturing individual – just too see you makes me happy!
    Love ya!

  5. […] I was catching up on my blog reading, this post over at Child’s Play reminded me that I have wanted to try to get back into doing more “Wordless Wednesday” […]

  6. What a lovely post. I really love the way you write.

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