My Garden Likes to Mess With Me.

I don’t know what’s going on this year. I mean, I don’t have a green thumb by any stretch of the imagination, but everything in my garden went SO WELL last year. I really thought I was getting better at not killing off my plants.

I think my bumper crop last year was really my garden’s way of slowly driving me crazy, because this year is the total opposite. They’re obviously playing with my head. My strawberry plants that threatened to overgrow my garden bed last year have been a no show this year. *sob* Not that I ever got to eat the stinkin’ berries, with all the birds around here (Round 1, Round 2, Round 3, and then I gave up.)

There are a whole bunch of things that aren’t growing, that should be. But I’ll focus this little post on all the things that are growing that really shouldn’t be.

My veggies are struggling, all except some stray mutant carrots that I planted last summer. Apparently, they didn’t feel like growing in the heat, and so waited until winter to form their unholy alliance. I have a feeling their plan was to take over the world…and they might have done it if I’d left them for another week. In another week, they would have cha-cha’d out of the garden bed and wreaked their carroty havoc all over the country.

Mutant Carrots

“Dude! We were so close!”
“And now it will never be. Hold me!”

In my flower garden, the columbines that have been popping up in the same place for the last 2 years are missing, BUT it appears they’ve migrated to different places and popped up elsewhere. The hydrangeas that Hubby has been muttering about pulling out due to their complete lack of blooms have magically…bloomed!

Hydrangea Blooms

I bought the wrong hydrangeas a few years ago, so I haven’t been surprised they’ve been bloomless. My plants only bloom from the last year’s old growth, which means they set their buds right in time for the cold and windy Colorado weather to freeze and dry them into non-existence. So do my hydrangeas expect me to believe that the same winter that killed off all my perennials has magically spared them? Well I’m sorry, but I don’t buy it. I think they must be in cahoots with the veggies to drive me freaking insane. Just when I think I’m a horrible gardener, and should stop immediately, something grows that gives me hope to keep trying.

And so, I DO keep trying, clinging on to the small joys that manage to grow. And then I cut them down to put them on my dining room table.

Two can play this twisted game of domination.

Sassy with flower 2


7 Responses

  1. That is gardening…sometimes its good, sometimes its not. Outside of watering and picking off bugs, I feel like it is a free for all and I’m just along for the ride. 😉

  2. OOOOOHHHH!!! Put them back in! Put them back in!!! They wont overthrow the world! They just need to be together is all.
    IKEA ROCKS by the way. Life in Alaska is not complete without it….

  3. Your tile is very clever and I laughed out loud when I saw it. Every year my garden production is a bit different. Mother Nature has made sure this year that my yields will be down. Rain, rain and more rain with very little sun. Enjoyed the read!

  4. I love the carrots – I’m still laughing!

  5. The carrots crack me up. I laughed a ton. Totally “Pinky & the brain” -esque.

  6. and to imagine that humankind has been at this for 14,000 years! Amazing we made it this far. Did you know that agriculture was started by women? The men were content with the whole “gotta go hunt now” thing. So you are among the proud learners of how to master — or at least work with– the land.

  7. those carrots look like baby mandrakes! cover your ears!!!

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