Hubby: “What’s up? Are you cranky today?”
Me: “No, I just don’t want anyone to talk to me.”
Hubby: “I’m pretty sure that’s cranky.”
Me: “But I feel really happy…when no one is talking to me.”



Me, explaining the summer book club at the local library: “Ooooh! Look, Golfer! You get prizes and awards for how many hours you read! Cool! And at the end you get a big party. You get SUCH GREAT PRESENTS for doing this!”

Golfer: (looking steadily at me for a while, then finally…) “Knowledge, mom. Don’t forget about knowledge. You know, it’s what I’ll get if I’m reading for that many hours.”

Me: “Yeah, well…uh…..of course. You know, I was just about to say that. I mean…uh…..obviously. It’s the most important thing. I was just, uh, saving that for last.”


Sassy: “Dad! You know why Mamma has boobies? So babies can suck on them to get milk. I used to suck on mamma’s boobies! Now I’m big. I have boobies, too! (shows them) Can I see your boobies?!”

Hubby: ….

[I’ve found that explaining nursing to kids is so much less awkward when you are actually nursing a child. Which has always been the case for my kids, except for Sassy who is the youngest. You know, one of those, “this is how babies eat…etc.” rather than just throwing the sucky sucky explanation out there and watching their little minds try and get around it.]


Golfer and I, talking about what he’s saving up his money for:

Golfer: “…and then there’s the ride in the B-29, and the video ipod, and the new Wii game…I have a lot of stuff I want to get!”
Me: “Well, that’s what saving your money is for.”
Golfer: “I’ll be saving for a looong time.”
Me, about to throw out that the only reason a man gets rich is because he saves his money: “You know what they say about what makes a man rich….”
Golfer: “It’s how much love he has, right?”
Me: “Oh…uh….yeah. Exactly. It’s about love, not hoarding money. That’s EXACTLY what I was going to say.”
Golfer: “Then I’m rich already.”
Me: *inward sob*
Golfer: “But that still doesn’t get me a video ipod.”
Me: “Save, buddy. Save. In the meantime, we’ll snuggle.”


So there it is, folks. A day in my life. Aren’t you glad I shared?


12 Responses

  1. lol – your house sounds as crazy as ours 🙂 And I agree – you can be want to be left alone without being cranky!

    I was breastfeeding DS about 5 years ago at a party and a friend’s son came into the room. He was about 6 or 7 and had obviously never seen anyone breastfeeding before – he watched in silence for a while and then asked me “why is the baby drinking your blood???!” It still makes me chuckle to remember! (I had to go out and tell his mother that I’d traumatised her son lol)

  2. I’m so glad you shared…knowing someone else is out there being told to “wipe my butt” makes me happy

  3. I think we’ve moved past the “wipe me!” stage. At least, I haven’t heard it in awhile. Thank.God.

  4. YES, I for one am glad you shared! That was sweet AND hilarious! Won’t it be nice when no one wants to discuss anyone else’s or their own poop anymore? I think so.

  5. When kids say stuff like that, you know you’re doing something right (even if you don’t quite know what it is that you did)!

  6. I keep thinking the day will come when I don’t have to wipe anyone’s booty but my own, but alas, not yet. I’m SURE when I was 4, I was wiping my own booty, and we only had toilet paper (no cool KanDoo wipes)!!!

    I love the “boobies” comments. My 4 yo, last born daughter has recently learned about nursing also. She now nurses her babies and wants to talk about it ALL the time, especially to nursing moms!!

  7. Yes!!!! what awesome conversations!!!

  8. I only get the wipe-me request about once every few months now…woo!

    And hey, how much does the Golfer have saved? Buy.com has an 8GB refurb video ipod nano on sale today for $135. 😀

  9. Absolutely!
    i remember when my oldest would yell,”WIPE!!!” from the can no matter WHO was in the house. And it’s a small house.
    You have one sweet boy there! Don’t you just want to take a pan to your own head when they come out with those gems of insight and wisdom?!?!?!

  10. I laughted so hard when I read this that my neighbor in the campground thought I was having trouble breathing & came to check. I love those kids…& their parents too

  11. These are awesome conversations! Thanks for sharing.

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