Dear Mark Spitz.

Mark, Mark, Mark. I was soooo with you when you mentioned in an interview that you should be at the Olympics to watch Michael Phelps break your record of 7 Gold Medals. You said, “But I wasn’t invited”. Sad!

But then you went on (unfortunately):

“You don’t go to the Olympics just to say, I am going to go. Especially because of who I am”

Actually, who are you? I was born in 1972 and wouldn’t remember if not for the press bringing up your name. So more importantly, who do you think you are?

Spitz, now 58 and grey and without his trademark moustache, cannot understand why he wasn’t asked along to see the show.

“They voted me one of the top five Olympians in all time. Some of them are dead. But they invited the other ones to go to the Olympics, but not me,” he said. “Yes, I am a bit upset about it.”

Uh, Mark. I don’t know how to put this to you. I’m sure you’re a great guy. I’m sure you know just how great a guy you are. I’m sure you tell everyone what a great guy you are…

“I won seven events. If they had the 50m freestyle back then, which they do now, I probably would have won that too,”

Hey Mark! Shut it for a second! I think I know why no one has invited you!

“Phelps is almost identical to me. He’s a world-record holder in all these events, so he is dominating the events just like I did,” Spitz said. “He reminds me of myself.”

Good heavens, Mark. I’ll make this quick because I can tell you’re not going to shut yer trap for long. So I’ll come out and say it…you are insufferable. Got it?

I know Phelps (from watching him on TV). Phelps is (not really but it would be cool if he was) a friend of mine. You, Mark, are no Michael Phelps.

PS: You’re no Jason Lezak, either.

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12 Responses

  1. Mark you were amazing, just as Phelps is now and YES, YOU SHOULD BE THERE!!! You are a legend and always will be, as will Phelps. We LOVE a phenomenom and you own that place in time.

  2. That was funny. Be careful though, cuz Mark Spitz was my first hero…he definitely should have shut it after his first comment.

  3. Sorry Mark, but you are known to have kind of a crappy
    personality. Many may still remember that you insinuated that the lampshades in Germany were made out of Jewish people when they hosted you in their country.

    Maybe the IOC didn’t want to take that chance.

    Seriously dude, this is Phelps’ time. Try being gracious
    and just shush

  4. Your a genius. Thanks for the laugh.

  5. Mark Spitz was as exciting a character in 1972 as he is a dilweed today. Mark…..you had your day. Be happy with that. Plus, if you want to go to the freaking Olympics then buy a ticket and go. What, no money after all these years?….or just can’t let go of the ego long enough to enjoy the trip. Sheesh…..you’re a baby.

  6. Phelps has class. Mark, grow up finally, get a real job. You’re a has been. I agree, buy a ticket dude. Enjoy watching Phelps blow away your record on tv.

  7. Talk about sour grapes. You were great in your day. Congrats. I think the only reason you want to go to China is to try and psych Phelps. Get over yourself!

  8. Mark Spitz….Sheesh what a jerk…He was a jerk in 1972 and it seems the last 36 years haven’t mellowed him at all. I truly don’t understand why he can’t be happy of Phelps. Spitz will alway be a double legend. First for his achievements as a swimmer and second for being the all-time dilweed of the world. While he no longer can compete with the younger swimmers, he can, however, contiue to add to his dilweed crown. Mr. Spitz, get over yourself and go back to being annonymous.

  9. Dude, he made me want to vomit a little. How can one person be so self centered and so egotistical.

  10. Chill everyone. Mark Spitz was a great Olympian. You are all taking his comments out
    of context. He’s just saying, if they are going to keep comparing Micheal to Me then
    it would be cool if they invited me there.

    He *could* crash the party, but he would rather be asked – you know? And if not asked,
    he’s cool with hanging here and watching it in HD. I’ll bet he’s rooting for Micheal, just
    like we all are!

  11. Mark who? Nice job Phelps.

  12. […] Guy!” Saved by Lavendergaia on Mon 08-12-2008 Jameru Saved by MuseL666 on Fri 05-12-2008 Dear Mark Spitz. Saved by BenWeeks on Mon 01-12-2008 Moustache May (In July) Saved by techsto on Mon 17-11-2008 […]

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