2e Tuesday: Troublemaker

Having a kid, or being the type of person, who thinks out of the box lends itself to some interesting dynamics in life.

To the rest of the world, life has rules and a certain code to live by. To an out of the box thinker, everything is questionable. And if a rule doesn’t apply or make sense then the rule becomes obsolete. This can lead to a certain amount of friction in everyday life…church, school, organized sports, etc.

Naturalist is a natural rule breaker. Always has been. Being the firstborn, she had two newby parents to break in. At that time, I though spanking was appropriate…I was spanked, using the “one, two, three” rule where I needed to obey by the time my parents got to three. I rarely, if ever, waited past 1 to do what I was supposed to. Naturalist rarely, if ever, cared what I was counting to or what kind of spanking she got. When I realized that I was going to spend the rest of my life putting the beat down on her, I tried to devise a better plan that didn’t involve corporal punishment. But that’s another post for another time. My point is, Naturalist has always had an internal code of conduct and is NEVER ever swayed by outside opinion or action.

When our kids are young, we foster this. But when they get to be school age, it becomes more problematic. School becomes the dominant force, saying what the schedule is, what the curriculum is, when to sit, when to stand, when to talk, when to play, when to go to the bathroom. For an out of the box’er, this doesn’t fly. At all. Putting themselves at odds with the establishment can lead a child into the world of doctors appointments, medication, detentions or black marks, labelling by the system, frustration to the parents.

According to Dr James Webb in “Misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis of gifted children”,
“Many gifted and talented children (and adults) are being mis-diagnosed by psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, and other health care professionals. The most common mis-diagnoses are: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (OD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Mood Disorders such as Cyclothymic Disorder, Dysthymic Disorder, Depression, and Bi-Polar Disorder. These common misdiagnoses stem from an ignorance among professionals about specific social and emotional characteristics of gifted children which are then mistakenly assumed by these professionals to be signs of pathology.”

Heaven’s knows, we’ve been there and done that song and dance.

Unschooling has allowed us to support and encourage Naturalist’s core value system, but she remembers the times when every day at school felt like a violation of her psyche. I wish I were exaggerating how strongly she felt that way, but I’m not. It was a big part of her depression and anxiety by the end of 3rd grade.

To help her understand that some people just live their lives outside of the box, as difficult as it may be, I use song therapy. It’s cheap, and fun! I just introduce her to songs that she may relate to, and it has seemed to strengthen her in the way only music can.

One of the first songs she tuned in to is Troublemaker, by Weezer. An anthem to out of the box thinkers everywhere!

“Put me in a special school,
Cuz I am such a fool,
And I don’t need a single book to teach me how to read
Who needs stupid books?
They are for petty crooks,
And I will learn by studying the lessons in my dreams

So turn off the T.V.
Cuz that’s what others see
And movies are as bad as eating chocolate ice-cream
They only sicken me
Don’t let me play football
I’ll sack the quarterback and jack the brother of the ball

I’m a troublemaker
Never been a faker
Doin’ things my own way
And never giving up
I’m a troublemaker
Not a double-taker
I don’t have the patience to keep it on the up.

I picked up a guitar,
What does this signify?
I’m gonna play some heavy metal riffs and you will die
You wanted arts and crafts
How’s this for arts and crafts?
Wuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh
That’s Right!

I’m growing out my hair
I’m moving out to Cherokee
I’m gonna be a rockstar
And you are gonna bear with me
Cuz I can’t work a job
Like any other slob,
Punchin’ in and punchin’ out and suckin’ up to Bob
Marryin’ a beeyotch,
Havin’ seven keeyods,
Givin’ up and growin’ old,
And hopin’ there’s a god.

….

I’m a troublemaker
Never been a faker
Doin’ things my own way
And never giving up
I’m a troublemaker
Not a double-taker
I don’t have the patience to keep it on the up…”

This kind of therapy doesn’t make her obnoxious, or encourage her to be a rebel just for the sake of being a rebel. It just lets her know, ‘hey, rock on sister!’ No drugs or counseling needed!

Join The Out of the Box Thinkers Group on Yahoo!

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4 Responses

  1. I’m not sure if you’re into that sort of thing, but if so, you have an award over at my blog!

  2. I’ve been off my regular schedule of late due to camp, swim lessons etc. The summer crunch!
    I’ve really missed my 2eTuesdays fix though! Perfect timing on this one. It’s hard not to get frustrated with a kid who acts as if any and all laws/rules are mere suggestions. Good to know I’m not alone on this.
    BTW, Toby loves this song too. We were crusing down the road one day when it came on and he picked right up on the lyrics.

  3. well, you made me tear up again!
    love it!
    exactly!
    thanks…

  4. I am so glad that I found your blog! I feel that I have finally found someone who can relate to my life, thoughts, loves, & challenges I have with my own children. I definitely feel as though my baby girl, now 8, is channeling the naturalist and I love reading about your perspective to remind me that I am not alone. I have read many of your back posts and will continue reading forward from here.

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